Do you take insurance?

I’m in network with Aetna and United. I also accept private pay.

How long will I need to be in therapy?

I typically meet with clients on a weekly or biweekly basis. The duration of therapy depends on several factors, including consistent attendance, the topics we are working on, and progress toward the goals outlined in the treatment plan.

Do you see kids or couples?

I do not. I primarily work with women, focusing on issues related to anxiety, depression, life transitions, and grief and loss. I specifically love working with women who are interested in incorporating somatic practices, such as Reiki and EMDR, alongside talk therapy.

Where are you located?

Meer Soul Counseling is located in Olde Town Arvada at 5738 Olde Wadsworth Blvd, Arvada, CO 80002 in the Town Square Professional Building.

Do you accept virtual clients?

Yes, I am based in the Denver metro area of Colorado, but I can see clients throughout the state of Colorado. Additionally, I am licensed in Montana, Texas, Wyoming, Idaho, Washington State, Florida and Oregon, so I can work with clients in those states as well. Select Contact Me on my website to inquiry about availability.

How much would a session cost out of pocket?

My rate for a one-hour session is $150 (may be subject to change). I can also provide a superbill that you can submit to your insurance for potential reimbursement.

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is an evidence-based therapy approach used to help people process trauma, anxiety, and distressing life experiences. EMDR therapy helps the brain reprocess difficult memories so they feel less overwhelming and no longer trigger the same emotional intensity.

How do I get started?

I typically begin with a virtual 15-minute consultation to discuss what you'd like to work on and to ensure we're a good fit for each other. You can schedule a consultation by filling out the Contact/Request an Appointment form on my website.

What is KAP (Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy)? Is it covered by insurance?

KAP combines prescribed ketamine with psychotherapy to support deeper healing and insight. At Meer Soul Counseling, we partner with medical providers for the medical portion, while we provide the therapy. Insurance generally does not cover the medication, but the therapy portion may be reimbursable depending on your plan.

Who is your ideal client?

I work with millennial women experiencing grief, trauma, anxiety, and major life transitions. My ideal client often feels overwhelmed or disconnected beneath the surface and is seeking deeper, lasting healing through holistic therapy such as EMDR, IFS, and mindfulness.

Understanding Your Inner Critic: Why Am I So Hard on Myself and How IFS Therapy Can Help

meersoulcounseling
Jun 30
3 min read

Many people ask themselves, "Why am I so hard on myself?" This question often comes from a place of frustration and confusion. You might notice a constant voice inside that judges your actions, points out your flaws, or reminds you of past mistakes. This voice is commonly known as the inner critic. Understanding where this inner critic comes from and how it operates can be the first step toward healing and self-compassion.

This post explores what the inner critic really is, why self-criticism happens, why simply thinking positively often doesn’t work, and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a fresh way to understand and work with this inner voice. You will also find a gentle exercise to try on your own.

What an Inner Critic Actually Is

The inner critic is that internal voice that judges, criticizes, or doubts you. It might say things like:

"You’re not good enough."
"You always mess things up."
"You don’t deserve happiness."

This voice can feel harsh and relentless, making you question your worth and abilities. But the inner critic is not just a random negative thought. It is a part of your mind that developed for a reason.

Think of your mind as a community of different parts, each with its own role. The inner critic is one of these parts. It tries to protect you, often by pushing you to avoid failure or rejection. Although it can feel painful, it usually acts out of a desire to keep you safe.

Where Self-Criticism Comes From

Self-criticism often starts early in life. It can develop from:

Childhood experiences where you were judged or punished for mistakes.
Messages from family or society that set high standards or linked your worth to achievement.
Trauma or difficult events that made you feel vulnerable or unsafe.

For example, if a child grows up hearing “You should always be perfect,” they may internalize this as a rule. The inner critic then takes on the job of enforcing this rule, warning you when you fall short.

Self-criticism can also be linked to feelings of shame or anxiety. When you feel ashamed, the inner critic might try to remind you to “fix” yourself. When you feel anxious, it might try to control your behavior to avoid danger.

Why Positive Thinking Usually Doesn’t Work

You might have tried telling yourself to “think positive” or “just be kinder to yourself.” While positive thinking can help in some situations, it often doesn’t work well against the inner critic. Here’s why:

The inner critic is a part of you, not just a negative thought to dismiss.
Simply replacing negative thoughts with positive ones can feel fake or forced.
The inner critic often reacts by becoming louder or more persistent when ignored or challenged.

For example, if you tell yourself “I’m great” but deep down you believe “I’m not good enough,” the inner critic may push back harder to protect that belief.

Instead of fighting the inner critic, it helps to understand it and build a relationship with it. This is where IFS therapy offers a new approach.

When Therapy Can Help

If your inner critic feels overwhelming or causes significant anxiety, shame, or perfectionism, therapy can provide support. IFS therapy is especially helpful because it:

Helps you build a compassionate relationship with your inner critic.
Identifies and heals the deeper pain or trauma behind self-criticism.
Teaches you to balance your internal parts, reducing conflict inside your mind.

Therapy is not about eliminating the inner critic but transforming its role from a harsh judge to a supportive guide.

A Gentle Exercise to Try

Here is a simple exercise to start understanding your inner critic:

Find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to relax.
Bring to mind a recent moment when you felt self-critical.
Ask yourself: What is this inner critic part trying to protect me from? What is it afraid would happen if it stopped criticizing?
Listen without judgment. Notice any feelings or images that come up.
Thank the inner critic for trying to keep you safe, even if its methods feel harsh.
Imagine offering kindness to this part, like you would to a worried friend.

This exercise can help you start a conversation with your inner critic, making it less powerful and more understandable.

Your inner critic is not your enemy. It is a part of you trying to help, even if its way of doing so feels painful. By learning to understand and work with this part through approaches like IFS therapy, you can find more peace, self-compassion, and freedom from harsh self-judgment.

IFS Therapy for Anxiety

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